MY TOP 108 MUSICAL ARTISTS OF ALL TIME

Where will Guns 'n Roses rank on the list?

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So, I finally finished this blog, which I’ve been working on for the better part of a month (it’s 23 pages on Word. TWENTY-THREE!!!).

What can I say, it was either that or go to the gym.

We all know how self-serving the whole blogging thing really is. I mean, we assume people actually give a shit about what we have to say!

Following that logic, and in light of several music-related rankings I have read on some of your blogs lately, I present my Top 108 Favorite Musical Artists of All Time.

Why 108? Simple, before a certain Italian catcher came along, Gary Carter was my favorite baseball player of all time. And since the only thing I love as much as music is baseball, it is only fitting that I honor The Kid and his uniform number, 8... that and I couldn’t find a reasonable place to cut off the list at #100.

Now many of these choices are going to open me up to ridicule and ripping. Fuck if I care. I will defend each and every one of these selections, and at the end of the day ya’ll can kiss my white ass if you don’t like ‘em.

I have very eclectic taste in music, as you will see. Everything from rock to country and folk, and metal and punk to bubblegum pop, old shit to new shit. You will, however, notice how prominent those 80s hairbands are on this list and the almost entire absence of rap, hip-hop or R&B of any kind.

I have left off all religious acts – Jewish and Christian -- from the list. No, I don’t own Muhammad’s Greatest Jihads.

I welcome your comments.

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108. THE TRAVELING WILBURYS
Comprised of Bob Dylan, Tom Petty, the late George Harrison, the late Roy Orbison, and Jeff Lynne of ELO, these guys released two albums together before Orbison left the building. Check out "Tweeter and Monkey Man," a song that features a line that has become something of a personal mantra; "In Jersey anything's legal, as long as you don't get caught."

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107. KELLY CLARKSON
I’ll admit, I’m hooked on American Idol, largely for its wagering potential, but that has nothing to do with why I own both of Kelly Clarkson’s CDs (I didn’t even watch Season 1 when she won). Clarkson is not the typical pop singer. Her songs are edgy, more rock than pop, and she still has an air of humility, not yet tainted by the biz, it seems.

106. KISS

I never got into Kiss, hardcore, but they are largely responsible for my beloved hairbands gaining popularity, and they have quite a few tunes that I dig. They even have a great power ballad, “Forever.” Makeup, no makup, whatever.

105. VAN HALEN
My feelings on Van Halen have been well documented on various blogs by other authors. David Lee Roth is annoying, and I definitely prefer VH with Sammy Hagar. “Right Now,” “Dreams” and “Top of the World” are among my favorite tunes, all with the Red Rocker singing lead.

104. JANE’S ADDICTION
The pioneers of alternative rock, lead singer and Lollapalooza creator Perry Farrell’s high-pitched tones lend itself perfectly to Jane’s Addiction’s often head-over-heels pace. Guitarist David Navarro, now of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, made popular a half-riff guitar style that has become a norm among today’s axe-men. You probably know “Jane Says” and “Been Caught Stealing,” but there’s oh, so much more to this band.

103. THE GO GO’S
Doing drugs, banging dudes, and cranking out catchy pop anthems, the Go Go’s featured four pretty hot chicks that could all play. I even dug most of Belinda Carlisle’s solo offerings, not to mention Jane Wiedlin in VH1’s “the Surreal Life,” even if her solo career never took off.

102. BODY COUNT
Sure, the marriage of metal and rap has brought forth all kinds of musical disasters, but when a bunch of rappers decided to form a metal band, the result was not only highly entertaining, but a whole new kind of edgy. Body Count is rapper/actor Ice-T’s band, and he is the lead singer. Their debut album, “Cop Killer,” caused quite a controversy in the early 90’s, and I was immediately hooked. I know I can’t relate to not being able to catch a cab or being harassed by the cops simply for the color of my skin, but any band that can croon “...she got wild in the backstage bathroom, sucked my dick like a motherfuckin’ vacuum. She said ‘I love you, but my daddy won’t play, he’s the fucking grand wizard of the KKK,’” as well as “I fell in love with Tipper Gore’s two 12-year-old nieces,” as they did in the song “KKK Bitch,” well, they’ve got my respect. Also check out “There Goes the Neighborhood.” (the version I’ve linked to is edited for language, but you get the gist). But Body Count isn’t all shtick, “The Winners Lose,” is a great song about the dangers of drug abuse.

101. BOWLING FOR SOUP
Musicians have often been accused of taking themselves too seriously. This foursome from Texas will never have to deal with that stigma. Their songs are all shtick. They were nominated for a Grammy in 2003 for “Girl All the Bad Guys Want,” and in addition to a bunch of other kickass tunes, also recorded a pretty damn good version of Ah Ha’s “Take on Me.”

100. RATT
One of 23 hair bands on this list – and no, I don’t consider the likes of Guns n Roses, Iron Maiden or Slayer hair bands. Ratt is just a fun band to listen to, and to see live. Their songs are full of energy, and lead singer Stephan Pearcy can fucking howl!

99. DOKKEN
Guitarist Don Dokken has made beautiful music with many other artists, but his efforts with the band he named for himself should not go unnoticed. A classic hairband that didn’t gain the popularity and notoriety as some of the other groups of its genre, Dokken did release two of my favorite songs from the glam rock scene; “Alone Again,” a beautiful power ballad that I count as one of my favorites, as well as the haunting “Dream Warriors” from the flick “A Nightmare on Elm Street 3.”

98. BOSTON
Pure, melodic arena rock. Boston was ahead of its time when it hit the big time in the late 70s. By the time the late 80s rolled around and most other arena rock acts had faded into the sunset, Boston reemerged once more with the power ballad “Amanda.”

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97. PETER CETERA
Whether as lead singer of Chicago, or as a solo act, Peter Cetera has one of the most recognizable voices in the industry, and he used it to crank out hit after hit in the 80s. My favorite, “Glory of Love,” appeared on the soundtrack for Karate Kid II.

96. KENNY ROGERS
As far as I know, this Kenny Rogers never slugged a cameraman. Dubbed “The Gambler” long before the left-handed pitcher by the same name, Rogers is one of the most successful male solo artist in country music history, with classics such as “The Gambler,” “Coward of the County” and “Lady.” But if you’re looking for something a bit more obscure from the white-bearded legend, check out “Tomb of the Unknown Love.”

95. EUROPE
There is more to this band than “The Final Countdown,” the intro to which is played adnausium at sporting events all over the country. The album of the same name is one of the first I ever owned. The power ballad “Carrie,” though recently ripped by a certain reader of this blog and author of his own, kicks ass. But there’s also “Cherokee” and “Rock the Night,” both great tunes.

94. MADONNA
Go ahead, rip me. I like Madonna, but because of her slow stuff. While songs like “Holiday,” “Material Girl,” “Like a Virgin” and “Papa don’t Preach” are all well and good, it’s tunes like “La Isla Bonita,” “I’ll Remember,” “Used to be my Playground” and “Live to Tell,” that earns her a spot on this list, the latter of which is one of my favorite songs of all time. Check out the video, it co-stars Sean Penn. Madonna’s work in the film version of “Evita” also scored her points with yours truly.

93. JOHN DENVER
I am not gay. I swear. But my father used to play John Denver in the car when I was a kid and how do you not get hooked. I mean, Todd could kick this guy's ass! Well, mostly because Mr. Denver is dead, but still.

92. HOLE
Courtney Love is a disgusting pig. I acknowledge that. But that pig can rock! Hole's first album, "Live Through This," is nearly perfect, and their follow-up effort "Celebrity Skin" is also pretty damn good.

91. PET SHOP BOYS

Another group that scored big in the 80s electronica scene, the Pet Shop Boys had several hits in the 80s, including “West End Girls,” “It’s a Sin” and “What Have I Done to Deserve This?”

90. BLINK 182

When Green Day hit in the mid-90s, it opened the door for pop-punk bands all over the country to stake their claim in the music world. Blink 182 and its good-natured, fast-paced energy is probably the best of that class. “What’s My Age Again?” is my favorite from among their offerings, good, solid shtick.

89. SLAUGHTER
These glam rockers had several tunes that made a splash, including "Spend My Life," "Up all Night" and "Fly to the Angels," from their first offering, "Stick it To Ya." They also had a couple of more hits on their follow up "The Wild Life," including "Real Love," which featured a young Shannon Dougherty in the video. Oh, and I once caught a Mark Slaughter guitar pick at a show.

88. KIX
One of the more obscure of the 80s hairbands, Kix had hits with the haunting power ballad, “Don’t Close Your Eyes,” as well as the more upbeat “Blow My Fuse” and “Cold Blood.”

87. LINKIN PARK
First there was Run DMC and Aerosmith with “Walk This Way,” then there was Anthrax and Public Enemy with “Bring Da Noise,” but when the soundtrack to the movie “Judgment Night” hit in 1993, featuring even stranger bedfellows from the rap and metal worlds, all hell broke loose. Suddenly rap and metal was intercoursing in every orifice – like Ice T and Slayer – and what was born was the bastardly offspring that has plagued the music scene ever since – see Limp Bizkit and Korn. Then came Linkin Park to restore some sense of calm. A mix of rock, rap and electronica, Linkin Park is delightful. A pleasantly bodacious romp through daises. Two enthusiastic thumbs up! Check out “Numb” and “In the End.”

86. NIGHT RANGER
There was more to Night Ranger than the super-hit “Sister Christian,” which was featured prominently in the movie, “Boogie Nights.” More of an arena rock band than a hairband, Night Ranger also hit with “Don’t Tell Me You Love Me” and “(You Can Still) Rock in America,” as well as recording the theme song for the movie by the same name, “The Secret of My Success,” starring Mike Fox. Bassist Mike Blades went on to form Damn Yankees with, among others, Ted Nugent and Styx guitarist Tommy Shaw.

85. TOM PETTY and the HEARTBREAKERS
From “Free Falling” to “Into the Great Wide Open,” Tommy Petty’s tunes have always been there. Even some of his later stuff, like “Mary Jane’s Last Dance” tickled my fancy, and not just because Kim Bassinger played a dead chick in the video. How she never managed to parlay it into a third installment of “Weekend at Bernie’s,” I’ll never know.

84. MOTORHEAD
Perhaps Brendan Fraser and Steve Buscemi said it best in the movie "Airheads," when Fraser asked Harold Ramis, who was playing an undercover cop, "Who would win in a wrestling match, Lemmy (Motorhead lead singer and bassist Lemmy Killmeister) or God?" When Ramis responded "Lemmy," Buscemi retorted, "Wrong, dickhead, trick question, Lemmy is God!" Yes, I am aware of the SNL "Ditka" sketch rip-off, but Adam Sandler was in this flick! There are so many fantastic Motorhead tunes, but I guess “Ace of Spades” is my favorite.

83. U2
I like U2. Most of their tunes are pleasantly melodic with intelligent lyrics. I’m just not fucking ga-ga over them like some other people. Yes, their place in music, past and present, is undeniable.

82. MANOWAR
Dubbed by many as the "cheesiest band in metal," Manowar (pronounced Man-o-war) still kicks ass. The 80's speed metal freaks riff about subjects straight from a game of Dungeons and Dragons, with lyrics rife with stories of kings, knights, wizards and swords. Check out the tunes "The Defender," "Heart of Steel," "Brothers of Metal" and "Black Wind, Fire and Steel," among others, for a head-banging good time.

81. THE DESCENDENTS
If any among you have actually ever heard of the Descendents, I would be most impressed. These guys are an edgy, scrappy, independent punk band who don't have a major label, but are highly revered among the punk community. The kind of band you would see playing on a Sunday afternoon at the Recs Plex in Elizabeth.

80. AMERICA
Another band I got hooked on thanks to the cassette player in my father’s car, America’s classics include “Horse With No Name,” “Sister Golden Hair” and “I Need You,” which would have made a fantastic power ballad, had America not been all acoustic and around in the 60s. Another of their hits, “Sandman,” is not where I got my nickname.

79. ENYA
I don’t know what the fuck country this dame is from, or what exactly is her drug of choice, but I’m mesmerized by here music, even if it is mostly digitally enhanced.

78. ALICE IN CHAINS

While Pearl Jam's "Ten," Nirvana's "Nevermind" and the soundtrack to the movie "Singles" were the best albums to come out of the Seattle music invasion of the early 90s, Alice in Chains was the best band. "Would?" and "Man in the Box" are my favorite tunes from dearly departed lead singer Layne Staley, guitarist Jerry Cantrell and friends.

77. GREEN DAY
Unquestionably, Green Day’s bursting on the mainstream music scene in the mid-90s with the album “Dookie” changed things. Much like Nirvana did earlier in the decade. But while “Dookie” is a kick-ass album in its own right, it wasn’t until 2004 that Billy Joe Armstrong and his little friends became relevant to me. Green Day’s arrival ushered in the era of pop-punk, sparking bands like Blink 182, The Offspring and Good Charlotte. But “American Idiot” goes beyond all that. It’s a masterpiece. Something I would rank – and probably will – among the best albums ever released. I love concept albums, and this is one of the best.

76. THE BEATLES
I know what you're thinking; how could I have one of the greatest, most influential bands in rock n roll history this low on the list? (Wait until you realize Bruce Springsteen didn’t even make it!) Well, for one thing, most of the early Beatles stuff is cheese, and not good cheese. It's like stale Limburger. Secondly, this list isn't a testament to influence, talent or impact. There are simply 75 artists I prefer to listen to.

75. BOB MARLEY
The bottom line here is that if you’ve ever smoked the herb, and love music, you have to list Bob Marley among your favorites. "Redemption Song" tops my list of favorite tunes by the late, great reggae legend

74. BLACK SABBATH
Take Black Sabbath’s darkness and Led Zeppelin’s speed and energy and you have heavy metal. Every hard rock and metal band that has ever played a power chord owes their existence to Sabbath. Ozzy Osbourne, bassist Geezer Butler, guitarist Tony Iommi (no relation to Hillsborough HS softball coach Cheryl Iaione) and drummer Bill Ward are Gods. My father owns a first-run copy of their first album on vinyl, and that shit better be in the will under my name!

73. OASIS
Call them the Beatles Lite, call them a couple of redneck Brits, whatever. Oasis rocks. Brothers Noel and Liam Gallagher may have done more feuding than recording, but when they did manage to stay in the same studio together, the result was sweet. “Wonderwall” and “Don’t Look Back in Anger” were the biggest hits off their multi-platinum album “What’s the Story (Morning Glory).

72. FOO FIGHTERS
To me, Nirvana is one of the most overrated bands of all time. That said, they were good, I enjoyed them. But when Kurt Cobain swallowed that shotgun, it instantly propelled Nirvana into legend status, which I don’t feel was warranted. The best affect Cobain’s good aim had on the music scene, however, was that his death freed up Dave Grohl to form the Foo Fighters. The ex-Nirvana drummer got it right with this band. They can be light-hearted at times, like with the videos for “Big Me” a parody of the Mentos commercial, and “Learning to Fly,” which features Jack Black and Tenacious D. Perhaps the funniest thing I’ve ever seen is their attempt at the Led Zep classic “Stairway to Heaven” on the Craig Kilbourn Show. But they can also be hard-driving serious rockers, with tunes like “This is a Call,” “Everlong” and “Monkey Wrench.”

71. JAMES TAYLOR
I love folk rock, and nobody did it better than JT. With classics like “Carolina on my Mind,” “Fire and Rain” and “Sweet Baby James,” this man is a legend, and rightfully so.

70. SLAYER
The godfathers of death metal, Slayer is everything you would ever want in a metal band. Speed, power, dark lyrics, mind-bending guitar riffs and haunting ballads, if you have never seen these guys live, you haven’t lived… and probably have never gotten your head split open in a mosh pit. Their albums “Reign in Blood,” “South of Heaven” and “Season in the Abyss” defined death metal in its heyday, with tunes like “Angel of Death,” “War Ensemble” “Dead Skin Mask,” “South of Heaven” and “Seasons in the Abyss."

69. LED ZEPPELIN
As I said before, Led Zeppelin, along with Black Sabbath, is responsible for hard rock and metal as we know it today. Robert Plant was one of the first male singers to hang out in the high octaves, while Jimmy Paige revolutionalized the lead guitar. John Bonham left us too early, while John Paul Jones was in the right place at the right time. “Stairway to Heaven” is considered by some as the greatest song ever written, but don’t miss “Kashmir” “Black Dog” and the “Immigrant Song.”

68. PANTERA
Thrash metal at its finest, Pantera shook the hairband label in the late 80s and launched into a career of brutal metal and two-foot long joints like the one they showed in a documentary in 1995. Featuring singer Phil Anselmo, bassist Rex Brown, guitarist Dimebag Darryl Abbot and his brother, drummer Vinnie Paul, Pantera was a key part of the 90s metal scene, releasing two of the finest albums of the genre; “Cowboys from Hell,” which featured, along with the title track, “Domination” and “Cemetery Gates,” and their follow-up “Vulgar Display of Power,” which bought us the likes of “Walk,” “This Love” and “Fucking Hostile.” Pantera spilt in the late 90s, with Vinnie Paul and Dimebag forming the band Damage Plan. They had some success until 2004 when Dimebag was shot and killed on stage by a deranged fan.

67. CREEDANCE CLEARWATER REVIVAL/JOHN FOGERTY
I put John Fogerty and CCR in the same slot because even though Fogerty has had a successful solo career since CCR broke up, his solo music could have easily been recorded with the band. “Fortunate Son” is probably my favorite CCR tune, but Fogerty’s “Centerfield” is a must for any baseball fan, and I ceremoniously play that tune every opening day. If you’ve never seen the video, make sure you check it out!

66. DIRE STRAITS
As I recently commented on Pete’s blog, Squawking VFR, Dire Straits is not only responsible for some of the best music of the 80s, but the go-to band whenever under the influence of hallucinates, I mean, you can actually SEE the music – err.. or so I’m told.. Mark Knopfler is a God! I will, however, disagree with one thing, I do not, in any shape or form, want my MTV. Check out “Romeo and Juliet,” very underrated!

65. NEIL YOUNG
The Godfather of Grunge, Neil Young, along with Bob Dylan, is my father’s favorite artist, and 32 years of listening to them has gotten me hooked. While Young’s singing voice sounds something like a camel with its nuts in a vice grip, his song writing is top of the line, and his lyrics are poignant and on the mark. While his catalog is littered with classics, “Unknown Legend” from the album “Harvest Moon” tops my list from Mr. Young. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a video of it to link to.

64. MEGADETH
Dave Mustaine’s unceremonious dismissal from Metallica right before they hit it big is well documented. Mustaine’s success with Megadeth is not, outside the metal community. Always in Metallica’s shadow, Megadeth put out some of the best metal records of the 80s and 90s, including “Rust in Peace,” “Peace Sells, But Who’s Buying?” and “Killing is My Business, and Business is Good.” Among my favorite Megadeth tracks are “Hanger 18,” “Peace Sells, but Who’s Buying?” and “Sweating Bullets.”

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63. STEVE MILLER BAND
You never realize how many great songs the Steve Miller Band has churned out until you really look through their discography. It’s not just “The Joker” and “Take the Money on Run,” don’t forget about “Abracadabra,” “Jungle Love,” “Dance, Dance, Dance” and “Jet Airliner.”

62. SUICIDAL TENDENCIES
The first time I saw Suicidal Tendencies live – opening for Metallica and Danzig at the Arts Center in 1994 – I was blown away. Talk about speed metal! It wasn’t just the pure energy of their performance, but when lead singer Mike Muir left the stage and ran through the crowd, up the aisles, and joined the HUGE mosh pit on the lawn, I was hooked. Check out the songs “Institutionalized,” “You Can’t Bring Me Down,” “Send Me Your Money” and “How Will I Laugh Tomorrow.”

61. PAUL SIMON
Leave it to Paul Simon to write a song about his drug dealer. The creative force behind Simon & Garfunkel, Simon has made a nice solo career for himself with hits like the aforementioned “Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard,” as well as the cult classic, “Call Me Al,” the video to which might be the last good thing Chevy Chase ever did... despite his presence.

60. THE CURE
Sometimes, you just like a band and you can’t quite put your finger on the reason. “Just Like Heaven,” “Boys Don’t Cry” and “Pictures of You” are among my favorite Cure tunes.

59. ABBA
Here you go, another chance to rip me. Yes, I like ABBA. Granted, disco sucks. But there’s something about these bubbly Swedes that keep my toes ‘a tapping. While my father has had a fairly big impact on some of my musical tastes, here’s a case where my mother has had an effect. I remember being a kid and hearing ABBA playing in the basement while she did laundry. “The Winner Takes it All,” “Fernando” and “Waterloo” are my top three favorite tunes from ABBA.

58. KING DIAMOND/MERCYFUL FATE
There is something about a grown man, adorned in makeup, alternating vocally between octaves, as he rips out fierce metal runs. King Diamond, the lead singer of Mercyful Fate, had a successful solo career as well. His concept album, “Abigail,” about a haunted house and the fate of the family that moves in late in the 1700s, is still one of my favorite records to date. For an added treat this holiday season, check out the King’s classic, “No Presents for Christmas.”

57. COUNTING CROWS
Their first album “August and Everything After” was so fucking good, that despite my not really getting into anything they’ve released since, the Counting Crows are still 57th on this list. It just goes to show it’s all about quality, not quantity.

56. FIVE FOR FIGHTING
One of only a handful of artists to hit in this decade that is worth a damn, Five for Fighting is the stage name for singer/songwriter John Ondrasik, and you gotta admit, the moniker is great – you gotta love someone that names himself for a hockey penalty. Five for Fighting had hits with “Superman” and “100 Years,” but has recorded a bunch of other great songs on the albums “Message for Albert” and “America Town,” including “Easy Tonight” and “10 Miles from Nowhere.”

55. TONIC
Tonic had minor hits in the late 90s with “If You Could Only See” and “You Wanted More,” but there’s much more to them, as I discovered. That albums “Lemon Parade” and “Sugar” are both fantastic rock records, a nice mix of upbeat tunes and ballads.

54. BOB DYLAN
Bob Dylan has written as many hits for other artists as he has had for himself, Jimi Hendrix’s “All Along the Watchtower” is a prime example. But there are plenty of masterpieces Dylann has recorded. So what if you can’t understand half the words the cat is saying? My favorites include “Tangled Up in Blue,” Knocking on Heaven’s Door,” “License to Kill,” and “Hurricane,” which is set in Jersey. Dylan’s “I Remember You” was also featured prominently in the Mets 1986 highlight film, “A Year to Remember.”

53. CROSBY, STILLS, NASH (& YOUNG)
Harmonic geniuses, CS&N (and sometimes Y) was a big part of the late 60s music scene, and continued producing quality tunage well into the 80s and 90s. Still, I went to see them at PNC a few years ago, and boy have they lost it. Steven Stills spent half the show clutching one of the amps, trying to stay on his feet. Check out “Helplessly Hoping” and “Wasted on the Way” for fine examples of three-part harmony done right.

52. SAVATAGE
You might know these guys as the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Radio stations play the shit out of their tune “Christmas Eve in Sarajevo” during the holiday season. But first they were Savatage, an 80s hairband known for their rock operas. “Gutter Ballet,” “Edge of Thorns,” “When the Crowds Are Gone” and “Believe” are the tunes they’ve released that top my list.

51. THE REFRESHMENTS
Like Bowling for Soup, The Refreshments are another band that relies on shtick. They hit the charts in 1996 with “Banditos,” but their entire collection is quality. (clip isn’t their video, but at least you’ll be able to hear the song).

50. THE BEACH BOYS
I’ve been throwing the word “genius” around quite a bit here, but as I use it again, for Brian Wilson and the Beach Boys, you can use the literal definition. The man is a trailblazer, a musical genius, one of the greatest songwriters of the last 100 years. Too bad he doesn’t know his own name, nor can he form a coherent sentence anymore.

49. GREAT WHITE
Go ahead, make all the fire jokes you’d like, but before these guys were responsible for killing 97 club-goers, a couple of roadies and their rhythm guitarist at a 2003 show in Rhode Island, they rocked. Aside from glam rock classics like “Once Bitten, Twice Shy,” and “Rock Me.” Jack Russell is also credited with belting out the power ballad “The Angel Song.” Thankfully i've only seen them play outdoor venues!

48. FLEETWOOD MAC
Between the love triangles and internal bickering, Fleetwood Mac still had time to put out a catalog of great music. Stevie Nicks’ unique voice lends itself well to Fleetwood Mack’s soft, melodic stylings, while the rest of the voices provide a nice contrast when they chime in. “Rhiannon” tops my list of Fleetwood Mac tunes.

47. EVANESSENCE
Power, range, heavy rock. Evenessence not only can rock the house, but lead singer Amy Lee is probably my favorite female vocalist to hit in the last five years. That dame has got some pipes! After scoring hits in recent years with “Bring me to Life,” and the haunting power ballad, “My Immortal.” They’ve since broken up, so, yeah, that’s the end of that.

46. REO SPEEDWAGON
If you grew up in the 80s, or even if you were simply conscious during the decade, REO Speedwagon has some place in your memories, even if you never attended a school dance or saw the movie “The Last American Virgin,” which featured their hit, “Keep On Loving You.” REO Speedwagon also hit with “In My Dreams,” "Take it On The Run” and “Can’t Fight This Feeling,” but there’s plenty more goodness where those came from.

45. RICHARD MARX
Another staple of the 80s school dance scene, Richard Marx was a big-time hit maker in the late 80s. His “Right Here Waiting” was also the first song I learned how to play in its entirety on the piano. Marx also hit with “Angelia,” “Satisfied” and “Hazard,” among other tunes.

44. AMERICAN ANGEL
Though they never hit it big, the Cranford, NJ natives were one of the 80s most underrated and lesser-known hairbands. You would be hard-pressed to find a copy of their self-titled debut or their follow-up EP, but if you listened to 89.5 WSOU (Seton Hall’s radio station) during the late 80s, you have heard American Angel. Their “hits” included “How Can I Miss You,” “Open up the Balcony” and “Lessons.”

43. ROXETTE
Another of my guilty pleasures from the 80s, Roxette’s first two albums, “Look Sharp!” and “Joy Ride” were played over and over again during my junior high and high school years. There were upbeat tunes like “Dangerous” and “The Look,” as well as ballads like “Listen to your Heart” and “It Must Have Been Love,” their smash hit from the movie “Pretty Woman,” which remains my favorite pop ballad of all time.

42. STING
After he split with The Police, Sting kind of went in a new direction as a solo artist, leaning more toward jazz and blues than the synthesizer-heavy pop songs we were used to hearing him croon. My favorite is “Fortress Around My Heart.”

41. DISTURBED
Today’s metal, for the most part, is shit. Disturbed is one of the few exceptions. After bursting on to the scene in 2000 with the album “The Sickness,” which included radio hits like “Stupify” and “Down with the Sickness,” they followed it up with 2002’s “Believe” and “Ten Thousand Fists” in 2005. What makes Disturbed unique in today’s metal scene is that they’re not your typical band with one yahoo pounding away on a drum kit, and two or three others playing the same three power chords over and over, while another clown yells incoherently into a microphone about killing this and destroying that. With lyrics about intelligent subjects like religion, society’s ills and the absolute incompetence of our leaders, Disturbed melds powerful riffs and melodic hooks behind lead singer David Draiman, who can actually carry a tune, while at the same time providing the power metal needs. Disturbed’s reaching #41 on this list is also helped by the fact that I used to hang out with Draiman when we went to the same school in Israel in ’91-’92. The cat would lead the prayers in synagogue, and now he’s got facial piercings! It still makes me laugh to watch him trying to act all angry and hardcore in his videos and interviews. Check out “Prayer,” which is my favorite Disturbed tune.

40. SIMON & GARFUNKEL
While Saturday Night Live credited Simon and Garfunkel’s success to a deal with the devil, I credit it to top-notch song writing and tremendous two-part harmonies. “I’m just a singer,” Art Garfunkel said on many occasions, and he proved it, never playing an instrument, simply standing there, hands in his pockets, crooning along with Paul Simon’s masterfully crafted songs. “The Boxer,” “Mrs. Robinson” and “America” are my favorite S&G tunes.

39. SCORPIONS
A hairband from Germany, the Scorpions hit in the mid-80’s with “Rock You Like a Hurricane,” and later released a song that became a soundtrack for the end of the Cold War, with 1990’s “Wind of Change.” But there is a lot more to Klaus Meine, Rudolph Schenker and friends than those tunes. “Still Loving You” is one of my favorite power ballads of all time, while I also count “Hit Between The Eyes,” “Tease Me, Please Me” and “Send Me An Angel” among my favorites from the Scorps.

38. FIREHOUSE
There’s more to Firehouse than the pop success they achieved with “Love of a Lifetime.” “Reach for the Sky,” “Don’t Treat Me Bad,” and the title track from their second album, “Hold Your Fire,” are all great tunes.

37. LIFE OF AGONY
The mid-90s hardcore scene never got off the ground, commercially, and, for the most part, that’s a good thing. The one exception to that is Life of Agony, which mixed hardcore riffs and beats with a singer in Keith Caputo that yelled, yes, but on key. The boys from Brooklyn were best known for “This Time,” which was featured in an episode of Beavis and Butthead (“Aw, his daddy doesn’t have time for him, awww.”). “Through and Through” and the title track from their first album, “River Runs Red,” as well as “Lost at 22” and “Other Side of the River” from their sophomore effort, “Ugly” are my favorite tunes from LOA.

36. ANTHRAX
I have been to a lot of metal shows in my day, and I have participated in many a mosh pit. But there was no better than at an Anthrax gig. These guys rocked the fucking house and raised the crowd into a frenzy every time they played. Perhaps the most memorable Anthrax show I’ve been to was in 1994 at the old Academy Theater in NYC. Life of Agony opened, and by the time Anthrax hit the stage I was quite worked up. That was, by far, the best pit I have ever been in, as the entire floor in front of the stage was moshing in perfect unison. You always know it’s a good pit when there are few injuries. To top it off, Mike Piazza was in attendance that night! “Got the Time,” “Caught in a Mosh” and “Antisocial” are my favorite Anthrax tunes.

35. THE EAGLES
One of the first bands to have success on both the country and mainstream music charts, The Eagles churned out great song after great song during the 70s and 80s, including classics like “Hotel California,” “Take It Easy,” “Lying Eyes,” “Tequila Sunrise” and “Peaceful Easy Feeling.” But my favorite Eagles song is still “Desperado.”

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34. POISON
In difference to Pete and Joe Pendleton, Poison does not suck. They are the quintessential 80s hairband. They represent everything that is good, and bad, about the genre, and the fact that they are still touring every year with the original lineup is a testament to their place in music history. Take a lead singer in Brett Michaels, a drummer in Rikki Rockett and a base player in Bobby Dahl who are decent musicians, but more about hairspray and makeup, and lead guitar player in C.C. DeVille who is a walking, squawking advertisement for the dangers of doing speed, yet might be the worst guitar player ever to have recorded a note, and you have Poison. But then there’s the music. It’s decadent, mindless and simplistic, but still has the ability to fire you up and get chicks to take their tops off. “Fallen Angel” and “Ride the Wind” are my two favorite Poison tunes, but they are probably most famous for “Every Rose has its Thorn.”

33. TESLA
If I were doing a list of the greatest power ballads ever written, Tesla’s “Love Song” would be at or near the top. From it’s mesmerizing acoustic guitar intro (which is unfortunately missing from the video I’ve linked to) to its anthem-like hook, Jeff Keith and the boys have shown how to write a power ballad. But Tesla has also produced some other fantastic tunes. From their better-than-the-original cover of the Five Man Electrical Band’s classic “Signs,” to original hits like “Modern Day Cowboy,” “Getting’ Better” and “Edison’s Medicine,” Tesla rocks.

32. THE POLICE

A hit machine in the 80s, The Police were not like most of the pop bands infesting mainstream rock. And while most of the genre’s artists were singing almost exclusively about chicks, partying and whether or not to wear their sunglasses at night, Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland wrote tunes about, among other things, hookers (“Roxanne”), pedophilia ("Don’t Stand So Close to Me”) and the tedium of the middleclass (“Synchronicity II”).

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31. JUDAS PRIEST
So what if lead singer Rob Halford loves the cock? Judas Priest is still one of the most influential metal bands in history, setting the bar for anyone that came after, and they are still kicking ass. Check out the songs, “Breaking the Law,” “Painkiller,” “Screaming for Vengeance,” and Priest’s unbelievable cover of Chuck Berry’s classic, “Johnny B. Goode.”

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30. ELTON JOHN
Speaking of loving the cock, Elton John comes in at #30, which is about the same number of years as he has been rocking both sides of the pond. Lady….er, I mean SIR Elton is a musical icon, with countless hits over the years. My favorites include “Levon,” “Tiny Dancer” and “Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters,” which features the line “...subway’s no way for a good man to go down...” Well, he would know.

29. TOAD THE WET SPROCKET
Known for radio-friendly tunes like “Walk on the Ocean” and “

All I Want,” Toad the Wet Sprocket’s best songs were those they never released. The haunting “Pray your Gods” is my favorite, with “Windmills,” “I Will Not Take These Things for Granted” and “Before You Were Born” also among their best.

28. WARRANT
Any band that can get away with wearing white leather jump suits in a music video has to make this list. It also doesn’t hurt that lead singer Janie Lane was married to Warrant video vixen and ex-Star Search spokesmodel Bobbie Brown. Despite all their great power ballads and hairband anthems, “Uncle Tom’s Cabin” tops my list of Warrant tunes.

27. MOTLEY CRUE
If Poison is the quintessential hairband, than Motley Crue typifies how a rock band should live. Whether its wrecking sports cars, banging four chicks at a time, drinking and drugging themselves into oblivion, or, on a slow night, simply trashing a hotel room, Vince Neil, Tommy Lee, Nikki Sixx and Mick Mars live up to the image they project. While the Crue have released several albums that are eye-poppingly awesome, “Dr. Feelgood” is probably my favorite, with “Same ol’ Situation” my favorite tune. Still, don’t forget classics like “Home Sweet Home,” “Girls, Girls, Girls,” “Too Fast for Love” and “Live Wire.”

26. BRYAN ADAMS
I would love to start this blurb by calling Bryan Adam’s music “good old American rock ‘n roll,” but the cat is from Canada. Sure, everyone knows “Summer of ‘69” and the highly successful ballad “Heaven,” which was actually my sister’s wedding song. But there are better tunes in this cat’s collection. “One Night Love Affair,” which was featured in the classic 80’s flick, “Real Genius,” is among them.

25. HEART
Heart should have been a hairband. Then again, Ann Wilson should have been a parade float. Ok, who am I to make fat jokes? In any case, Heart rules. The powerful vocals, the power ballads, the power chords. Hell, I even dug “All I Want to Do is Make Love to You.” But Heart was at its best in the early to mid-80’s, releasing classics like “Alone,” “Never” and “These Dreams.”

24. CINDERELLA
Discovered by Jon Bon Jovi, Cinderella is fantastic. A classic hairband, their simple, melodic stylings, Tom Keiter’s vocals, and good, old-fashioned cheese, makes them my 24th favorite artist. Check out “Coming Home,” “Night Songs,” “Gypsy Road,” and “Somebody Save Me,” as well as power ballads “Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone” and “Nobody’s Fool.”

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23. IRON MAIDEN
Right next to Judas Priest at the top of the 80s metal food chain is Iron Maiden. These guys took metal in another direction. Lead singer Bruce Dickinson has the same power and range as Priest’s Rob Halford, and he used it to spearhead the genre that eventually led to the hairband revolution. Maiden kept it dark, fast and heavy enough to still be called metal, mostly by using occult images, like their signature character, “Eddie.” Bands like Metallica, meanwhile, kept Maiden’s original pace keeping metal hairspray-free. Maiden cranked out a host of classic albums, including “Seventh Son of a Seventh Son,” “Power Slave,” “Killers,” “Fear of the Dark,” and, most notably, “Number of the Beast,” which featured one of their signature songs, “Run to the Hills.”

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22. SARA MCLACHLAN
My friend, Christine, has the prefect name for artists like Sara McLachlan, “The Bitter Bitches.” But while she is definitely part of that genre, what McLachlan does not have is the whiny, bastarded folk sound of artists like Tori Amos and Ani Difranco – not that’s necessarily a bad thing. I first discovered McLachlan at a small club in the West Village in NYC in the early 90s, and I was delighted when she achieved commercial success. She is a tremendous songwriter and lyricist, as well as possessing an amazing voice, as well as a fantastic mastery of the piano. “Good Enough” from her first album “Fumbling Toward Ecstasy” is my favorite Sara Mac tune.

21. DEF LEPPARD
Not even an amputation could stop Def Leppard. After bursting on the scene with the album “High and Dry” in 1981, Def Lep cemented their place in rock with 1983’s “Pyromania,” which featured classics like “Photograph,” “Foolin” and “Rock of Ages.” After drummer Rick Allen lost his left arm in a car wreck, Def Leppard rebounded to take a step up to rock Gods. They released “Hysteria” in 1987, and, at the time, it became the biggest selling album of all time, surpassing Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” The album featured classics like “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” “Love Bites,” and “Animal.” In the wake up of the death of guitarist Steve Clarke, the album “Adrenalized,” released in 1992, also enjoyed commercial success, with tunes like “Making Love Like a Man,” and “Let’s Get Rocked.”

20. WHITE LION
While White Lion only had a couple of mainstream hits, with “Wait” and “When the Children Cry,” they are probably the most underrated of all the 80s hairbands. Vito Bratta’s riff-riding guitar work and Mike Tramp’s vocals made magic, as White Lion rocked the 80s and early 90s with tunes like “Lady of the Valley,” “Cry for Freedom,” “Little Fighter,” and a kickass cover of Golden Earring’s “Radar Love.” White Lion also recorded a couple of mind-blowing power ballads in “You’re All I Need” and “’Till Death Do Us Part.”

19. BILLY JOEL
I’d like to dedicate this spot in the rankings to our own Joe Pendleton, who has the audacity to declare, “Billy Joel sucks.” I’ll save myself some time by simply cutting and pasting excerpts from my comments on Joe P’s blog: "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" is an epic masterpiece, both musically and lyrically. It makes me think of how my parents grew up -- ironically, my father's name is Eddie. "Miami 2017," "Goodnight Saigon," and "Angry Young Man" are also, all, masterpieces. And "Only the Good Die Young" is a great song. (Billy Joel) displays the ability to craft fantastic, insightful lyrics, that people can relate to. But what makes him great is that the man can play the shit out of a piano! I can't think of anyone that is his superior. Go listen to the prelude to "Angry Young Man" or the intro to "Miami 2017" and tell me Billy Joel doesn't kick ass. Go listen to some of the runs in "Scenes from the Italian Restaurant" and tell me he doesn't rule. Bold, general statements like "he sucks" should be reserved for the likes of N’Sync and the Human League.

18. THE DIXIE CHICKS
Their political rambling aside, the Dixie Chicks have it all. Three hot dames who can sing, harmonize and play their instruments to perfection. Lead singer Natalie Maines, along with Emily Robinson and Martie Seidel, first hit with “Wide Open Spaces,” before releasing a pair of multi-platinum albums “Fly” and “Home,” which featured tunes like “Sin Wagon,” “Traveling Soldier,” and “Top of the World,” as well as the hilarious “Goodbye Earl,” which stars NYPD Blue’s Dennis Franz in the video, as well as Lauren Holly and Michael DeLuise of 21 Jumpstreet and Wayne’s World fame. A must see! This year, the Chicks released their fourth album “Taking the Long Way,” and their first single is “Not Ready to Make Nice,” which addresses the George W. Bush controversy.

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17. SKID ROW

When a wild man from Toronto, with the singing range of a eunuch, met four bums from Jersey, the result was one of the greatest hairbands of all time. And while Skid Row’s self-titled debut got all the accolades, with songs like “18 & Life,” “I Remember You” and “Youth Gone Wild,” it was their second album “Slave to the Grind,” to me, that was their finest work, as Baz and the boys evolved from glam to Gods. With hard-driving metal goodness like the title track, as well as “Monkey Business” and “Get the Fuck Out,” along with power ballads “Quicksand Jesus,” “In a Darkened Room” and “Wasted Time,” it remains one of my favorite albums of all time.

16. THE DOORS
Acid rock at its finest, The Doors led a revolution in the late 60s, promoting mind-altering drugs, free love and deep thought. Only the death of Jim Morrison in Paris during July of 1971 could put an end to the reign. If you’ve never seen the Oliver Stone movie, “The Doors,” definitely check that out. Not only is it full of Doors music, but Val Kilmer’s portrayal of Morrison was an acting job for the ages. There are so many Doors songs I absolutely love, but if forced to name only a few, I recommend “Peace Frog,” “Riders on the Storm,” “The Soft Parade” and “Twentieth Century Fox.”

15. ALANIS MORISSETTE
The queen of the “bitter bitches,” no artist has moved up this list faster in the last few years as Alanis Morissette – of course her cameo in my favorite movie of all time, “Dogma,” where she played “God” helped her gain favor in my eyes. Alanis turned heads in 1995 with her debut album “Jagged Little Pill,” and the world thought, “Damn, this chick is angry!” Well, if you had been banging “Joey” from Full House, you’d be angry, too! It is said that Morissette’s first hit, “You Oughta Know,” was written over her break up with Dave Coulier, but it could have been worse; she could have been singing about Bob Saget when she inquired, “…does she go down on you in the theater.” Morissette, whose lyrics have always been very personal, chilled out a bit after that, releasing “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie,” which featured a much more mellow and laid back collection of tunes, like “Thank You” and “Unsent.” – I guess life improved after making millions. She’s followed it up with “Under Rug Swept,” “Feast on Scraps” and “So-Called Chaos,” all of which show her growth as an artist and as a person. Check out “Excuses,” “Everything,” “Hands Clean,” and the haunting ballad “Uninvited” from the motion picture soundtrack, “City of Angels.” Lately, she’s hit again with a cover of Seal’s “Crazy.”

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14. BAD RELIGION
The pioneers and reigning kings of the new school punk movement, Bad Religion has set an example that every band should follow. Despite the prospect of millions of dollars and world-wide acclaim, these guys never sold out. A force for social change since the early 80s, Bad Religion melds uber-intellectual lyrical concepts with hard-driving, ultra-fast punk riffs to bring their message to the masses. I recommend the albums “Against the Grain,” “Stranger than Fiction,” “Recipe for Hate,” “Suffer” and “No Control.” Also, make sure you check out the tunes, “Stranger than Fiction” “21st Century Digital Boy,” “New America,” “Fuck Armageddon,” “Get Off,” and “American Jesus.” Their latest album, “The Empire Strikes First,” contains the song “Let Them Eat War,” about Bush’s re-election and the accompanying smoke-screen that was blown up the nation’s collective ass, as well as the satirical “Los Angeles is Burning.”

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13. GOO GOO DOLLS
I was a big Goo Goo Dolls fan long before they ever hit it big with their fourth album, “A Boy Named Goo,” in 1995, which featured hits like “Name” and “Long Way Down.” The band took it to the next level in 1998 with “Dizzy Up the Girl,” which released hits like “Iris,” “Slide” and “Black Balloon.” Still, to their credit, they stayed true to their roots and never lost their edge. Among the highlights of their earliest work, is the tune “We Are the Normal” off the album “Superstar Car Wash” (1993), and, from their first album “Hold Me Up” (1990), a great cover of the Plimsouls’s “A Million Miles Away,” which was featured in the movie “Valley Girl,” starring a young Nick Cage.

12. OZZY OSBOURNE
There are many reasons I detest MTV. Not only are they responsible for the dumbing-down of America’s youth, but they also managed to turn a God into a joke in the eyes of the masses. Ozzy Osbourne is the godfather of metal – yes, I know I’ve used the term “Godfather” quite a bit in these rankings). No single man is more responsible of the genre than he is. But when MTV’s reality show “The Osbournes” depicts him as a bumbling idiot and not the icon that he is, well, that really get my goat. Sure, the man has done more drugs and drank more alcohol than 99.9 percent of people who have ever walked the face of the planet, and it’s definitely caught up with him, but that’s no reason to disrespect the cat! The former lead singer of Black Sabbath had a solo career that topped his days with that band, churning out hit after hit and classic after classic, like “Crazy Train,” “Goodbye to Romance” and “Bark at the Moon,” as well as the power ballad “Close my Eyes Forever” with Lita Ford.

11. PINK FLOYD
If there is one artist I’ve always regretted never having seen live, it’s Pink Floyd (they’re also the only one in my top 14 I haven’t seen in concert). While the creative marriage of Roger Waters and David Gilmore has dissolved, they were together long enough to produce several masterpieces. Sure, the Waters-less album “The Division Bell” was fantastic, but it didn’t come close to “Dark Side of the Moon,” “Wish You Were Here” or the epic masterpiece, “The Wall,” which is one of the top three albums ever made. Even the movie they made out of it was mind-blowing. That flick, like the aforementioned movie “The Doors,” is one of those movies that you can watch completely sober, yet halfway through realize that, somehow, you’re stoned off your ass.

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Before we get to the Top 10, just a quick rundown of the artists who didn’t make the cut.

The honorable mention, if you will (in alphabetical order):
Aerosmith, Asia, Bad Company, Blue Oyster Cult, Bruce Springsteen, Celine Dion, Cheap Trick, The Cowboys Junkies, Damn Yankees, Debbie Gibson (yes, I said Debbie Gibson), Depeche Mode, Dido, Eric Clapton, Jackson Browne, Lita Ford, Nirvana, Pat Benater, REM, Smashing Pumpkins, The Bangles, The Coors, The Offspring, Tori Amos, Type O-Negative Van Morrison, The Who, Wilson Phillips (yes, I said Wilson Phillips)

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The Top 10:
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10. JOURNEY
As I write this, I have just returned from seeing Journey for the first time. I have heard for years that Steve Perry’s replacement, Steve Augeri, sounds just like him. That’s not entirely untrue, he does sound like him, but he isn’t nearly as good, neither as a vocalist or a showman. Aside from my disappointment after seeing them live, Journey is still an amazing band. For one thing, nobody’s got a voice with the effortless upward range that Perry does, though some can fake it, I suppose, and his bandmates put it to good use with the songs they play behind him. Arena rock at its best, Journey’s catalog is full of classics. In addition to super-ballads like “Faithfully” and “Open Arms,” don’t forget memorable tunes like “Don’t Stop Believing,” “Separate Ways,” and “Lights.” Perhaps my favorite of the non-ballad Journey tunes is “Only the Young,” which was featured in the 1985 movie “Vision Quest,” starring Matthew Modine as a high school wrestler that hasn’t been covered by Harry Frezza. The movie also features Linda Fiorentino, Daphne Zuniga, of Spaceballs and Melrose Place fame, and James Gammon, who played Indians manager Lou Brown in the Major League movies.

9. METALLICA (Pre-1996)
American history is littered with tragedy. From Pearl Harbor to Kennedy’s assassination, from Vietnam to 9/11, many have suffered and lost. From a musical standpoint, June 4, 1996, to quote President Franklin Roosevelt, will forever be, “a date which will live in infamy.” Few tragedies in the music world can compare to what happened on this date, not the murder of John Lennon, not even disco. Fifteen years after grabbing the music world by the balls and squeezing, Metallica released the album “Load.” It was then we realized the greatest thrash metal band in history had sold out. It was the day the metal died (though Don McLean still has yet to return my phone calls about writing a song about it). The signs were there with the 1990 release of their self-titled fifth studio album, the record that has come to be known as “The Black Album.” Sure, the record was great, with hits like “Enter Sandman,” “Sad But True” and “Nothing Else Matters.” But you could see Metallica turning for the worst. By the time Load was released, the mutation had been completed. Gone was the band that gave us “Kill ‘em All,” their first album, which included classics such as “The Four Horseman,” “Whiplash” and “Seek and destroy.” Or 1984’s “Ride the Lightning,” with tunes like “For Whom the Bells Tolls,” “Creeping Death” and one of the greatest metal tunes ever written, “Fade to Black.” In 1986 they gave us “Master of Puppets,” which, in addition to the title track featured “Battery,” “Disposable Heroes” and my favorite of all Metallica tunes, “Welcome Home (Sanitarium).” And, of course, that most perfect of albums “And Justice of All” in 1988, which bestowed upon us the mega-hit “One.” All we have left is the history. From the time I was 17 until about 22, I lived and breathed Metallica, seeing them about 15 times in various venues around the country. On April 1, 1997, I went to see them at the Meadowland Arena, figuring, “Ok, they may have cut their hair and care now more about making money than good metal, but at least they’ll play the old shit.” That didn’t happen. They basically played a ton of new shit, a couple of old songs in their entirety, and made medleys out of the rest of them. I should have stayed home and watched Ken Griffey Jr. hit three homers that night. That was the last time I ever saw Selloutica.

8. NATALIE MERCHANT/10,000 MANIACS
Whether it was with the 10,000 maniacs or solo, Natalie Merchant is amazing in every way. Not only is she a fantastic songwriter and lyricist, but the tone of her voice gives me chills whenever I hear it. After producing gems like “Eat for Two,” “Edan” “Jezebel” and “These Are the Days” while with the Maniacs, Merchant went out on her own and the gold kept coming. In 1995 she released her first solo album, “Tigerlilly,” featuring hits like “Jealousy,” “Wonder” and “Carnival.” But her debut also featured masterpieces that were never released, like “Beloved Wife,” “San Andreas Fault” and “River,” which just might be my favorite song of all time, period. Her follow up, “Ophelia” was also fantastic, check out “Kind and Generous,” as well as the haunting title track.

7. DREAM THEATER
While hairbands might be my favorite genre of music, progressive rock and metal is a close second, as three such bands occupy spots in the Top 10. Long Island natives Dream Theater are one of the best. Featuring intricate musical compositions, deep, though-provoking lyrics, a lead singer who seemingly has no limit to his range, one of the greatest, most mind-blowing drummers to ever sit behind a kit in Mike Portnoy, and some of the most talented musicians to ever take the stage, DT is probably the most underrated bands of all time. While they had a college radio hit in 1990 with “Pull Me Under,” they’ve largely gone unnoticed by the mainstream music market, and it’s really their loss. Everything this band has ever done is golden, with hard-hitting tunes like “Peruvian Sky,” epics like “Metropolis” power ballads like “Surrounded” and concept albums like “Scenes from a Memory,” about a man who realizes he was a murderer in a previous life. I can’t help but get all fired up whenever I listen to these cats.

6. INDIGO GIRLS
There is something to be said about being the only straight male among 20,000 chicks, a large majority of which prefers fish to sausage. But when I've gone to see this lesbian folk-rock duo in concert, that’s me in a nutshell (help, I'm trapped in a nutshell!). The Indigo Girls – Emily Sailers and Amy Ray – achieved moderate radio play with “Galileo” and “The Power of Two,” but it is their cult following that keeps them going. It was in Israel in 1992 that I was sitting in a bar doing shtick when I heard this amazingly haunting music. Two chicks, singing a song I later found out was called “Kid Fears” (for some reason this link goes to the song played over clips from the ABC show, “Lost,” don’t ask me why). As the song reached its end, I heard Michael Stipe from REM chime in and I was like, “I gotta know who these dames are.” All anyone could tell me was that it was a group called the Indigo Girls. As soon as I returned to the States, I immediately went to the record store to purchase their self-titled album, which also features “Closer to Fine.” Since then, they have released eight others CDs, all full of outstanding music.

5. BON JOVI
In the world of pop culture, the state of New Jersey is known for three things; The Sopranos, Bruce Springsteen, and Bon Jovi. And if you’re from Jersey and you rip any of the three, you oughta be forcefully relocated to Western Pennsylvania, or, better yet, Utah. I expressed as much, Mr. Pendleton, in my recent letter to the mayor of South Plainfield. After two decent, yet unspectacular albums, Bon Jovi hit paydirt in 1986 with “Slippery When Wet,” and haven’t looked back. I don’t have to list all their hits, you know them or you’ve been in a coma since the mid-80s, but I will list my top five favorites (album in prentices): 1. Blood on Blood (New Jersey); 2. Something to Believe In (These Days); 3. Wanted Dead or Alive (Slippery When Wet); 4. Runaway (Bon Jovi); 5. Livin on a Prayer (Slippery When Wet). I look forward to another great night of Bon Jovi at Giants Stadium in July, as is Clark Kent, if Brooke can stay sober enough.

4. RUSH
If this were a ranking of the greatest artists of all time, as opposed to my favorites, Rush would top the list. Take three cats from Toronto who are amazing musicians, tremendous song writers, mind-boggling lyricists and as imaginative and innovative as they come, add the greatest drummer to ever walk to surface of this planet, and you have Rush. Lead singer and bassist Geddy Lee, guitarist Alex Lifeson and drummer Neil Peart are masters, nay, magicians. Between Lee’s high-pitched vocals and riff-roaring bass licks, Lifeson’s guitar and synthesizer work (which he, like Lee, often play with their feet during live shows), and Peart’s rhythm-defying, rule-breaking, how-the-fuck-did-he-do-that work on the drums, all I can do is bask in their glory. Since 1974, Rush has turned out masterpiece after masterpiece, epic after epic and mind-blowing album after mind-blowing album. With 18 original studio albums to their credit, I couldn’t possibly go through all the highlights, but I will put forth a few recommendations. You all probably know “Tom Sawyer” and “Limelight,” and possibly even "Spirit of the Radio," but make sure to check out “The Trees,” “Subdivisions” and, especially, “Force Ten.”

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3. GUNS N’ ROSES
There is no band in history that makes us wonder what could have been like Guns n’ Roses. When W.Axl Rose, Slash, Duff McKagen, Izzy Stradlin and Steven Adler burst onto the scene in 1987 with “Appetite for Destruction,” it turned the music world on its ass before flipping it back over and giving it a swift kick in the nads. Hairbands ruled mainstream rock in 1987, but in Gn’R you got the hairspray and spandex, just complete with anger, violence and a general “fuck you” to everyone, including their fans – as was evidenced by their complete inability to arrive at a gig on time, or, sometimes, at all. And, when they did, there was always a good chance it would end in a riot. “Welcome to the Jungle” was the single that introduced them to the world, and the world was ready. They followed it up with the power ballad, “Sweet Child of Mine,” followed by “Paradise City” – the video to which was filmed at Giants Stadium – before releasing “Gn’R Lies” in 1988, which featured the acoustic hit, “Patience,” as well as controversial underground classics “Used to Love Her” and “One in a Million.” By the time they released “Use Your Illusion I” and “Use Your Illusion II” in 1991, the Gunners had the world in their hands. The separately sold albums produced megahits like “Don’t Cry,” “November Rain” and “You Could Be Mine,” as well as the cover of the Bob Dylan classic “Knockin on Heaven’s Door” and the Wings hit “Live and Let Die.” Too bad it didn’t last much longer, as the band eventually crumbled, thanks mostly to the fact that Axl is, and has always remained, a fucking looney tune. For some of GnR’s deeper cuts, check out “Mr. Brownstone,” “It’s So Easy,” “Night Train,” “My Michelle” off Appetite, as well as the first song I ever got high to, “Rocket Queen.” Also “Civil War,” Dead Horse,” “Pretty Tied Up” and “Coma” off the Illusion albums.

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2. THE CRANBERRIES
Of all the things I've been ripped for in my life, many of them legitimate, none has been more off the mark than those who have ridiculed me for loving the Cranberries. Their tunes range from soft melodic east to listen to ballads to hard-driving rock, and everything in between. What can I say, they had me at “Linger.” The Cranberries, comprised of Limerick, Ireland natives Dolores O’Riordan on vocals and guitars, lead guitarist Noel Hogan, bassist Mike Hogan and drummer Fergal Lawler, arrived in 1992 with the album “Everyone Else is Doing it So Why Can’t We,” and released “Linger” as their first American single. I still remember where I was the first time I heard it, just getting off the Brooklyn Bridge near Gleason’s Gym and I was floored by O’Riordan’s Irish-accented, octave-defying voice. I was hooked immediately. The album, which also produced a huge hit with “Dreams,” was followed up by “No Need to Argue,” which contains “Ode to my Family,” the politically charged “Zombie” and “Ridiculous Thoughts.” Three more studio albums have followed, “To The Faithful Departed,” which included “Salvation,” "Bury the Hatchet" and "Wake Up and Smell the Coffee," and I eagerly await their next record. My favorite Cranberries tunes, in addition to “Dreams” include, “21,” “Yeat’s Grave,” “Animal Instinct,” “No Need to Argue” and “Just My Imagination.”

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1. QUEENSRYCHE
I know some of you are saying to yourselves, “who the fuck are Queensryche?” or “Queensryche??? You mean those butt-puppets who did that song 'Silent Lucidity'

in the early 90’s is his favorite band of all time? That’s insane!” Well, my friends, if you can’t believe it, perhaps you should be listening to more Queensryche. After three moderately successful albums, “Queensryche,” “The Warning” and Rage for Order,” the Seattle-based progressive metal band carved their place in music with the 1988 concept album “Operation Mindcrime,” which I can only describe as “perfect in every way.” To me, it is the greatest album of all time, with Gn’R’s Appetite for Destruction” and Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” coming in second and third (maybe one day I will post a ranking of my favorite albums of all time). Mindcrime is genius. The story of Nicky, a confused, heroine-addicted dropout sucked in to a cult by the evil Dr. X, intent on revoluton. Nicky falls in love with a hooker-turned-nun, Mary, who is “saved” by Father William, a corrupt priest, who “takes her once a week on the alter like a sacrifice.” In the end, Nicky is ordered to kill Mary – “she knows too much” – and Father William – “get the priest, as well” – but he cannot bring himself to kill the woman he loves. So Dr. X does it for him. “Suite Sister Mary” is my favorite song on that album, where Nicky confronts Mary after taking out the priest. Other favs on the album include “Eyes of a Stranger,” “The Needle Lies,” “Revolution Calling,” “Spreading the Disease,” and the title track. The band released a live version of Mindcrime, a boxed set containing audio and video, called “Operation Livecrime” in 1989. To date, the best concert I ever saw was Q-Ryche at the Arts Center in 1994, where they played the majority of Mindcrime and even had skits on stage acting out certain parts. But when I saw them in 2004 at the Starland Ballroom in Old Bridge – I was right up front against the stage in the general-admission venue – they played the entire album, in order, and even bought out Pamela Moore, who provided the vocals for “Mary” on the original record. Queensryche released Operation Mindcrime II in 2006, their 10th studio effort, but it didn’t quite get it done. 1990’s “Empire” was also an awesome album, featuring the title track, as well as “Silent Lucidity,” “Another Rainy Night Without You” and “Jet City Woman.” Highlights from other albums include “The Lady Wore Black,” “Queen of the Reich

,” “Damaged,” “Sign of the Times” and “I Dream in Infrared.” Here's to lead singer Geoff Tate, guitarists Chris DeGarmo and Michael Wilton, bassist Eddie Jackson and drummer Scott Rockenfield. You guys rule!

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Am I insane for taking the time and effort to put this together? Probably. Was it worth it? Definitely. Will Joe Pendleton rip every one of the artists on this list, probably not, I’m sure he’ll leave two or three alone.

Rip away, boys and girls.

*Special thanks to Youtube.com, which, unknowingly, provided all the video links. It’s an amazing site, peruse it sometime!