What's up, Doc's

There have been countless times over the past few years that I have gone somewhere with The Joker, had a few drinks, and, at some point, told him he would be driving home.

Until Friday night, he never actually had to do it.

It had been years since I went out drinking in NYC -- other than a few trips to The Culture Club (which is still awesome). Back in the day, I would go out to one bar another in the city at least once a week. But since my friend, Sam, moved out, and since most of my friends have gotten married, become parents, and gotten lame, there really hasn't been much occasions for getting a crew together and heading across the Hudson.

Sure, I still go out. But it's usually in Jersey and, more often than not, it's to everyone's favorite South Bound Brook establishment for some raucous shtick and scintillating karaoke.

It was nice to recapture my fading youth, even for one night, and the place that had the honor is my new favorite East Village bar, Doc Holliday's.

A few weeks ago, while on my most recent AC jaunt, I befriended a nice young lady in the Borgata's poker room (who is also a hell of a poker player -- well, for a GURRRL -- ...I keed! I keed!). It turns out, she is the manager at Doc's, and one of the bartenders on Friday nights.

Over the past couple of weeks, she's told me repeatedly how much fun the place is and that I should come out, so I blew off band practice Friday night and The Joker and I headed in.

This place was right up my ally.

It's small, quaint, and definitely can be classified as a "dive bar," which is my favorite kind.

The jukebox is completely stocked with country music, which I dig, the clientele -- at least that night -- was bereft of the elitists yahoo yuppy toolboxes that often populate city bars, and both bartenders (Joanna and Alyssa) were half in the bag by the time we rolled in a little after 10 bells.

Less than an hour later, as I downed my third or fourth Captain and Diet (which were about 80 percent Captain and 20 percent Diet) and my second or so shot of Patron, I tossed The Joker my keys, told him he was driving home, and, as it turned out, meant it.

I kept drinking and enjoying the atmosphere, enjoyed some spirited shtick with the bartenders, bouncers, and some of the other patrons, and, we even raised a toast to the late, great George Carlin.

I am happy to report, enjoyed one of my all-time Top 10 benders that evening. I don't know how I continued to function. It was my first hardcore, all the way, drunken stupor since opening day 2006 at the Jets tailgate, where I consumed the large majority of a bottle of Captain Morgan on my own. Some of you witnessed that bit of fun.

We had a blast. Even The Joker, who was forced to remain relatively dry for the evening, reported he had a good time. I thoroughly recommend Doc Holliday's on your next trip into NYC. I might have to add it to my St. Patrick Day route -- well, assuming I can get back on that route this year after a two-year absence due to work conflicts (don't worry, Brooke, we'll still be starting the day at McSorley's).

For those of you who might be wondering, the answer is no. I did not pass out, I have not puked, and other than some minor queasiness and a general haze, I am none the worse for wear today.

Yes. I am hardcore (man taking a bow)

Stray dog

Before I get into the actual story here -- Chris Russo leaving WFAN -- a couple of comments about NYC's holy trinity of tabloid newspapers:

I grew up in New York, specifically Brooklyn, and while Newsday has always been a distant third to the Post and Daily News in most regards, my father always had Newsday delivered to the house because of its better coverage of the outer boroughs, plus he always liked their Mets-friendly coverage, especially in the 80s.

That said, while I think the above headline is phenomenal and actually had me laughing out loud, Newsday is the only one of the three papers that felt the Mike and the Mad Dog breakup was worthy of a back-page headline.

I don't know that I agree with that.

In any case, here's my take on the Mike and the Mad Dog split:

Chris Russo, by himself, sucks. His poor command of the English language and inability to pronounce certain everyday words rivals only a certain Texan that currently resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. It's not as charming. Russo's knowledge of sports is also sub-par for someone in his position and some of his theories and beliefs are off the charts retarded.

Mike Francesa, by himself, sucks. He is a pompous egomaniac, who, though his knowledge of sports is top-notch, finds himself at the edge of implosion if a caller dares to question something he said. He is boring, he drones on, he name drops to the point of nausea, and, frankly, is probably a dick in real life.

But Chris Russo and Mike Francesa together are great. They balance each other well, their banter is very entertaining, and, frankly, I always enjoy listening to them when they're together -- but never when they're alone.

But what frustrates me most about this split isn't so much that I'm going to miss listening to these clowns on the way home from work, but after all these years of listening to countless yahoos call in for the Superbowl trivia contest, I finally compiled a database with answers to all the types of questions they usually ask and I was gonna take a shot at a Superbowl trip this year. Damn it!

The bottom line is that with ESPN Radio gaining prominence in the NY area, if WFAN thinks they're not going to see a steep decline in their drivetime ratings with Russo's departure -- just as they would have had Francesa bolted and Mad Dog stayed -- they've got another thing coming.

If they do plan on bringing in a co-host for Francesa, it better be someone good. I think the station will be hard-pressed to find someone who complimented Francesa as well as Russo did -- the yin to his yang, if you will -- and I don't see this one ending well for our friends in Astoria.

I don't know the inside details on why one was kept and the other allowed to move on, but WFAN is about to learn the hard way that Mike without the Mad Dog is about as entertaining as Richard Neer on 20mg of Valium.

I know there are plenty of you out there who hated them together or apart, but I, for one, will miss the show immensely. I've been a regular listener to WFAN since Day 1, and as someone who spent a lot of time at home in the early days after being expelled from high school after high school, it was Mike and the Mad Dog that was my soundtrack to all the big sports stories of the time, and the same can be said about the years since.

Love 'em or hate 'em, Mike and the Mad Dog are part of the New York sports scene and have been for 19 years. And as someone who has never dealt well with change, this one is going to be hard to get used to.

Say something funny, Mike.