Back with a whimper

If one of my new year's resolutions for 2008 was not to blog for the better part of the final four months of the year, then for the first time in my life I might have actually stuck to a new year's resolution.

In fact, it would also mean it's the first time in my life I've ever MADE a new year's resolution.

But no, I cannot blame vows for my lack of blogging, anymore than a Catholic priest can blame vows for diddling 12-year-olds (Sorry, I haven't blogged in four months, I have a lot of pent-up offensive things to say).

The truth is, most of the truly blog-worthy things that have come up over the past four months have been too depressing for me to take the time to actually write about them. (Plus, I was the one person who hadn't blogged since the last time Joe Pendleton blogged, and I didn't want him to feel bad -- y'know, cause I'm such a sweetheart and I always concern myself with not hurting people's feelings).


Let's review.

When I last chimed in here, the Mets had yet to execute a second straight September collapse, and the Jets had not played over their heads and then come crashing back to Earth in a manner of ugliness only the Jets can do,


Sports-related heartbreak aside, there were some noteworthy things I COULD have blogged about had I not been so busy/lazy/worried about Joe P's feelings.


- Metallica's first good studio album in 18 years (kicks ass, but not in the way the old school stuff kicked ass)

- Guns n' Roses' first studio album of any kind in 17 years (I'm not in love with the record, nor am I willing to accept it as an actual Gn'R album, considering it's just Axl and a bunch of dumbasses)

- The presidential election (best damn thing to happen to this country in a long, long time).

- The end of Shea Stadium (That was a difficult day)

- The 60-something-year-old Russian limo driver named Igor Yakubov who rear-ended me two block from my hut -- while I was at a complete stop -- and the ensuing insurance-related and rental-car related nightmare that's ensued.

- Plexico Burress (WOW!)

- Sarah Palin (Wow, for many of the same reasons)


Those were all things I COULD have blogged about over the past four months. Things I SHOULD have blogged about over the past four months. But what's done is done, you can't change the past, and you can't live in regret.

In any case, this is not a vow to blog more often in 2009. Consider it an acknowledgment of slackitude (If that isn't a word, it is now).

So in 2009, I will do my best to chime in on both the important and unimportant, the noteworthy and the not-so-noteworthy.

For now, I leave you with this bit of advice:

If you're stopped at a railroad crossing and a black Cadillac with New York livery plates comes speeding up behind you, floor it. At least if you get hit by a train your car will be totaled and won't reek of paint thinner for two months when you get it back from the body shop.